The Killing of a Sacred Deer Dystopia within

Now, we read almost everything as dystopian. We speak often of the end of the traditional family unit, of wealth, of the middle class, of secure employment, of retirement, of the environment, of capitalism itself. But though it derives from an ancient Greek myth, auteur Yorgos Lanthimos’ most recent English-language film, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, spoke to me of a more Freudian concept: the idea of psychology as an impossible, inner dystopia.

In presenting a justice narrative of emasculation and familial destruction – in which Colin Farrell plays a doctor who befriends the teenage son of a man who died on his operating table – Lanthimos withholds bold statements about the catastrophic politics of the moment, except to posit that the enemy within could be the most poisonous of all.

Perhaps that’s why the film opens, tight, on a heart pulsing violently in an open chest. This heart is an ugly thing: tangible, fleshy, muscular, pink and orange and red, practically beating out of its owner’s cut sternum. As we zoom away slowly, we see the edges of the chest cavity, splayed open by braces and surrounded by bright blue medical swathes.

As a heart surgeon, Farrell’s Steven is used to playing god. An affectless man of stillness and control, Steven is married to Anna (Nicole Kidman), and living in an enormous house in the suburbs with their son and daughter, Bob and Kim. Every surface in his home is embellished with heavy textiles and patterns, the spaces as hermetically sealed as a spaceship. But it’s a Gothic house, brightly lit and uncomfortably vivid. The sound of strange, jagged orchestral strings — those of Hungarian composer György Ligeti, subconsciously familiar to us from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey — laid over scenes of domestic contentment are the sonic signal that something threatening lies beneath. Farrell flattens his melodious voice to a hypnotised, still-lovely monotone. From his luxurious daily drone, moments of unusual assertiveness and tenderness leap out — how many patriarchs call their son darling?

The security and arrogance at the centre of Steven’s worldview is ruptured when he befriends Martin (Barry Keoghan, recently in Dunkirk), the teenage son of a man whom Steven couldn’t save some months back. Martin is a strange but compelling boy. He meets with Steven at diners and the hospital where he works, and beguiles teenaged Kim.

Barry Keoghan as Martin stands in a hospital room with his shirt off and sensor patches stuck to his chest.

Barry Keoghan as the strange and compelling Martin.

A fissure opens when Steven’s son Bob can’t get out of bed: his legs are paralysed. The film slips into the logic of a myth as Martin delivers a breathless monologue to Steven at the hospital, and the arc of the justice narrative becomes clear: it’s “that critical moment we both knew would come”. The paralysis will spread from Bob to Kim to Anna, their appetites will wane, their muscles will thin, their eyes will bleed. The family is cursed; Steven’s colleagues are stumped. One family member will die, and, in ruthless and inevitable karmic comeuppance, the only way for Steven to halt the encroachment is to choose which of his beloved to sacrifice.

The film’s central dynamic comes into focus: a teenager taking revenge for the death of his father on an older man — a mature patriarch losing his power to a younger man is the molotov cocktail spurring on this narrative.

Not to be read literally, The Killing of a Sacred Deer is an allegorical tale, one that demands you buy into the film’s premise as a fable, a plot founded on abstraction. Allegories give concrete shape to abstract concepts. In this one, the Greek myth of Iphigenia — the daughter of King Agamemnon, who offended the goddess Artemis and had to slay his own daughter in sacrifice so his ships could sail to Troy — becomes a contemporary patriarch’s destruction. By the film’s middle chapter, we realise that it’s not his children’s illness unravelling Steven’s life, but his wife’s refusal to continue playing the delusion game of the functional nuclear family. As an alpha male, Steven turns out to be rather lame, and the only possibility of decisiveness will result in the loss of one of his brood.

Few things are as dark and pure and at once foggy and lucid as dreams. The Killing of a Sacred Deer feels that way; it has that same neurotic potency. The film evokes the early work of Danish auteur Lars Von Trier’s 1994 television series, The Kingdom, a rarely discussed precursor to the new golden age of television that arrived in the wake of David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks (1990-91). Von Trier is also a man whose body of work is dedicated to psychological perversity, and The Kingdom took as its premise a hospital built on the site of a former bleaching pond — a medieval place where many people died from inhaling laundry chemicals. Spirits from the bleaching pond rise up to haunt patients in the cutting-edge neuroscience ward, but their arrogant doctors refuse to listen, and the haunting grows unabated. The series’ title is translated from the word “riget”, which means “the realm of the dead”, and it summoned ideas of the failure of science and medicine to acknowledge the unknown and the ghosts of the past. Likewise in The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Steven is man of science giving over to voodoo, lurching right into a swamp of male cowardice and impossible decisions. The West has faltered, the bourgeois family has fallen in on itself.

Steven (Colin Farrell), right, looks into a glass wall to his left. The reflection is that of his wife, Anna (played by Nicole Kidman).

Anna (Nicole Kidman) refuses to continue playing the delusion game of the functional nuclear family.

Today, psychology has broken away from Freud, who believed that a healthier, happier society could never deliver healthier, happier individuals. Freud thought anguish came from somewhere within, and was existential rather than social and political in nature. The emphasis now is on the social determinants of health: the idea that a society has some responsibility for the welfare of its inhabitants, and that your personal health choices are influenced by things beyond you, delimited by your class, gender, sexuality and other contextual criteria outside your control. I agree with this idea, and can see the abundant evidence in its favour — just look at the current mental health crises brought onto marginalised groupings in Australia, the homeless people disenfranchised by a free-market approach to housing, the queer people whose identities and relationships have been publicly attacked by the ‘vote no’ campaign for civil rights, and Indigenous peoples, who remain at the bottom of this society since colonisation and capitalism destroyed their social basis of health, country and community.

But at some gut level, the idea that we as individuals are spurred forth by inaccessible things lurking in our psyches seems to hold — we speak rarely of the things that matter most and deny the parts of ourselves we find most shameful and sorrowful. Psychosexual issues are clearly a perverse wellspring of Lanthimos’ characters’ problems: we hear of Bob’s puberty anxieties, Steven’s childhood shame, intimations of long-passed moments of body humiliation that are as inexplicably jolting as déjà vu. The children stream forth reams of socially inappropriate dialogue in affectless tones: Kim has just gotten her first period, pre-teen Bob is obsessed with the prospect of hair under his arms.

And then there is Nicole Kidman’s character, Anna. Kidman is now an iconic figure within cinema history, and her characters have an accumulative power — when we see her lying deadly still on her marital bed with Steven, we think of her in her spousal bedroom with a simmering, jealous Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut (there’s Kubrick, hovering over cinema again), and in her doll house in The Stepford Wives remake. These two characters in particular come to bear on the new creation of Anna. She is a hard and exacting woman, whose feminine exterior — all strawberry blonde curls and black lace dresses — belies a controlling nature. The couple’s power dynamic is only ever flipped in the bedroom, where Anna initiates a submissive routine that has clearly been played out many times over their decades together. We sense that their cohesion as a couple and a family may be more delicate than they realise.

Lanthimos is a surgical filmmaker of great opacity. He offers few signposts as to his characters’ motivations, or his film’s broader meanings — it’s up to Farrell and Kidman to play the subtext, and for audiences to draw the connections between the disjuncture between the handsome family home and horror-like musical background.

But the clues are all there: Martin the intruder has brought on a Michael Haneke-like breakdown of familial relations, a splintering of delusion. The camera creeps round hallways, approaching the family in their dining room like a burglar. It frames the characters’ faces closely — like someone holding your face a little too tenderly and tightly — before zooming out to reveal their context, or adopts the opposite blueprint of capturing a wide tableaux and moving toward an individual within it, inverting the slow zoom. A shot of the children watching Groundhog Day recalls the numbness of the daily grind. Ceiling fans whir torpidly as in the cursed Palmer house of Twin Peaks; domestic bliss is as phantasmal as ever.

“My heart aches,” says Martin.

 

The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in cinemas from November 16.

Midnight Oil The Domain, Sydney, Armistice Day 2017

Group activities aren’t my thing. If a bunch of people is heading in one direction, I am heavily inclined to go the other. But when it was announced that Midnight Oil – a band I have been devoted to since the early 1980s when all my friends in Bondi had the ‘Oils hand’ stencilled onto their surfboards – were going to do a show on November 11, Armistice Day, it soon became apparent that I was going to have to go with the gang.

Plans were made, schedules were aligned and before I knew it, a stretch Hummer had been arranged, bespoke t-shirts had been printed and 16 friends from Bondi were meeting at a mate’s place on Beach Road at 2pm to get primed for the event.

There was no turning back so the best approach was to go with it and try to enjoy the shared experience of immersing ourselves in the music of the band that had shaped our generation. Into the Hummer we 16 climbed. An architect, a paramedic, a teacher, a swimming instructor, a garbo, a pub owner, a real estate agent, a journalist, among others – not some yobbo horde but a collection of old friends long-dedicated to Midnight Oil. And dressed in the same shirts.

A bloke named Zac was the Hummer driver. I’m not sure what Zac’s other jobs are but I’m fairly certain he moonlights in a number of different fields judging by the tattoo that was just creeping over his collar and a general sense that he knew a thing or two about a thing or two. The Hummer itself had a slightly stale air, as if recently used for a particularly eventful hen’s night or messy buck’s party, the complimentary champagne definitely not from the Champagne region and the plastic cups making a distinct crunching sound when sat upon.

In the short time it took to get to the Domain, the bubbly had been drunk but the claustrophobic environs had taken some of the fizz out of me. We were poured out onto Hospital Road with Zac fretting about the need for a good turning circle ahead so he could get the Hummer out of there effectively. We left him to his own devices and joined the throng heading past the Dutch Masters exhibition at the Art Gallery of NSW and into the vast fenced-off area of the Domain.

The 16 men stand in front of a black stretch Hummer.

Section 5 bus ‘from’ Bondi.

That day in the Sydney Morning Herald there had been a story quoting Paul Keating saying Peter Garrett should be ashamed that his band were “squatting” on the Domain for a week for their two concerts.

For once I disagreed with Keating and in this instance saw him as a nark. Paul, this is Midnight Oil mate, a Sydney band, arguably Australia’s greatest ever band (personal opinion, I know) and they’re here to bring their clarion voice back to the city like the ghosts of the old Domain Speakers’ Corner rabble-rousers that I believe still haunt the nearby Moreton Bay figs.

We were nice and early and the opportunity presented itself to head to the front-of-stage barrier. We secured our position there, all 16 of us, and we were all ready for the Oils.

Only problem was, it was 4.30pm, broad daylight, and they weren’t due to start until 8.30pm. A few drinks were thus consumed to kill time but in a neatly effective move, the toilets were positioned at the far end of the Domain, meaning the beer-to-bladder ratio had to be very carefully managed. As the crowd filled in around us, it became increasingly difficult to get either out or in, so one had to walk a fine line between getting on the piss and/or going for a piss.

A.B. Original was the first support and they did their best in bright sunlight to rev up a crowd that hadn’t yet got into the swing of things. It was a tough audience that I’m guessing hadn’t seen much hip-hop performed live on a big stage such as this – and didn’t really want to. Call me old-fashioned, but there’s also only so many times I can take hearing the word “motherfucka”. But with a huge exuberance and a war-chest of sharp lyrical barbs they won over several sections of a restless crowd, notably on their version of Paul Kelly’s ‘Dumb Things’ and a possible alternative Australian anthem, ‘January 26’. No doubt their “audience selfie” at the end won’t be their last.

The John Butler Trio were up next. Whilst most Midnight Oil fans would see themselves as open-minded and accepting, I’ve often felt sorry for support acts at their gigs. They can end up as mere cannon fodder for an audience eagerly awaiting the Oils and unwilling to embrace anything else. On this occasion however I felt Butler and co’s stadia-savvy experience really won through, his tight set highlighted by masterful 12-string guitar playing as the sun set over the CBD. Sometimes too, it’s only when you hear songs as part of a big crowd like this that you realise just how good they damn well are: ‘Zebra’, ‘Better Than’ and the instrumental ‘Ocean’ taking flight across the Domain as initial toleration for Butler turned to wide enjoyment and anticipation built towards that hard-act-to-precede act, Midnight Oil.

On a key Midnight Oil Facebook fan page, Powderworkers, there had been lengthy discussion about the possible contenders for the night’s setlist, much of it focussed on at which point the song ‘Armistice Day’ would be played, because surely it had to be. An obvious position was first, but Midnight Oil have never really chosen an obvious path so it remained uncertain if that would play out.

But as the smoke machines flicked on, as the lights began to pulse and the band took the stage, a low frequency drone emerged, soon morphing into the identifiable opening note of the iconic song from 1982’s Place Without a Postcard album. Out of the semi-darkness, the unambiguous figure of Garrett appeared. He was followed shortly after by the equally distinctive crunching guitar riff of ‘Armistice Day’, Garrett striding to the end of the extended stage dressed in a black Midnight Oil hoodie, the hood pulled right over his head, his face barely visible, a glint of his blue eye catching every now and then in the spotlight.

It was an astonishingly powerful image. The black dressed figure in the spotlight, initially motionless as the verse approached, the entire crowd then yelling every word along with him when it arrived. Instantly we were locked in the grip of crowd and song – a massed unit of women, men, and kids forged together as the smoke machine mist swirled in the nor’easter and the bewildered Botanic Gardens bats scattered to Centennial Park.

At the bottom of the image you can see the huge crowd gathered on the Domain, lit up by the light from the stage. Behind the crowd, taking up the rest of the image, is the CBD at night, with the Harbour Bridge lit up in the background.

The Domain from above, the night of the gig. Image source: Midnight Oil’s Facebook page.

My own group, some a little worse for wear after an already long day, connected with glances and smiles and I was glad we were all here together, quickly realising my voice would be screamed hoarse by the end of the night.

What followed was a bombardment of anthems, songs which it is not an overstatement to say are embedded in the hearts and minds of many. ‘Read About It’ was a searing, chanted blitz; ‘Hercules’ sparking with its punk rock urgency not diminished by 30 or so years; ‘Put Down That Weapon’ still anthemic in its measured intensity; into the chug of ‘Truganini’; and then my gang’s legendary favourite, ‘Section 5 (Bus To Bondi)’.

Oh my goodness. ‘No Time For Games’, ‘Short Memory’, ‘Only the Strong’, ‘US Forces, ‘Kosciusko’, ‘Don’t Wanna Be the One’, ‘Beds Are Burning’… are you kidding me? The show was almost overwhelming in its power; incendiary and beautiful rock ‘n’ roll that made you want to dance and sing but, of course, at the core of the Oils, made you think about something more. Made you think about your life and the planet and the world around us.

Yes, these are muscular, perhaps ‘masculine’ songs. But whilst initially embraced by a surfie/blokey coastal culture, a culture my friends and I obviously come from, Midnight Oil have long connected with a much wider audience, male and female. Their volume and power isn’t mindless; it’s underpinned by an intense melodic sensibility that exudes a strongly positive and inclusive nature. Indeed, Garrett’s repeated ejection of overzealous fans (let’s face it, exclusively men) throughout this tour, and the easily equal numbers of both sexes crammed up the front at the Domain was evidence of this desire to connect.

For two solid hours the band did not let up. Not even guitarist/keyboardist Jim Moginie, hobbled by a ripped hamstring and forced to sit in a specially designed multipurpose pod. From there, Moginie unleashed the sonic brilliance that many believe has long been the key to the band’s sound and success. Using an array of pedals and often balancing a guitar on his lap whilst simultaneously playing keys, his injury was no hindrance to what I believe is his inherently punk rock approach, allowing Moginie licence to mess mightily with these iconic songs and enhance them.

The highlights were many and the night was long. At some point it occurred to me that the unifying nature of Midnight Oil’s songs, their widespread resonance and the sheer number of tunes known by so many people, means that a show such as this (which was to be among the last of their 70-plus date tour) may never happen again.

Only Cold Chisel rival them in terms of songs and recognition, but even then I would argue the breadth of the Oils’ reach exceeds them. You’d have to think that, with members all in their 60s or thereabouts and after a mammoth undertaking that nearly came undone with Moginie’s torn hammy, such a visceral, uniting concert as this under their hometown skies is unlikely to reoccur.

Footsore and weary, my group convened briefly in our matching shirts and then interminably dispersed. I was left with a small core of close friends. We rued the fact that Zac and his stretch Hummer were long gone as we trudged off towards Stanley Street in Darlinghurst – a coffee and a gelato at Bill & Tony’s not being a total rock ‘n’ roll way to end the night, but bloody satisfying nonetheless. There we sat, exhausted and thrilled, talking over the highlights of what had happened, the sounds and memories of our past and what united us as friends, and all those songs that were still alive inside of us.

Midnight Oil play the Domain, Sydney, Armistice Day 2017. The image shows the band onstage from below. Photography by Tony Mott.

Midnight Oil play the Domain, Sydney, Armistice Day 2017. Photography by Tony Mott.

A Heart-Shaped Sticker from King Street Returning home to Newtown

On the weekend that ended up being almost the exact midpoint of my hospital admission, I was given leave on Sunday to travel back to Newtown, my home.

I’d been invited, months beforehand, to speak at the Writer’s Tent run by the local bookshop during the Newtown Festival, the annual fundraiser for the local neighbourhood centre, always replete with acrobats, a chai tent, a dog show with a look-alike category. It was a glorious day – that crisp, sharp light of late spring, a hot breeze shaking jacaranda flowers onto the road – and I walked to the festival down Eliza Street, where the inhabitants of a crumbling terrace were playing music and barbecuing vegetarian sausages in their tiny front courtyard, a bubble-blowing machine angled out over the street. The street itself was thronged and milling. A beautiful young woman with a shaved head and black velvet choker pressed a sticker in the shape of a heart onto my chest and I thought, yes, this is my home.

After I spoke, I met a friend in a bar further up King St – furtively, really, as I wasn’t technically supposed to drink – and the man behind the bar started mixing my spirits before I’d even ordered. All afternoon, I felt this small kind of recognition, of solidity – and I felt it sharply because I had been away, was still away, deliberately removed from my regular life and trying so hard to change. I was thin-skinned and uncertain, but my home, my life within it, had remained unprecarious.

When my boyfriend drove me back to hospital, heading into the spilling sun, westwards down Parramatta Road, down the M4, it was all I could do not to cry.

 

One of the things, I think, that felt most fractured about my time within the hospital was that the landscape around me was so decidedly suburban, so different from the space that I am used to moving through. My window, once I was given a room that had one, overlooked something that may have been a canal, a creek, or a stormwater drain – a thin trickle of water through a steep concrete ditch – and a dry-grassed park backed onto by red-bricked and boxy apartment buildings.

In the last weeks of my admission, I was allowed to leave the grounds to walk here for fifteen minutes each day, and I’d crunch over the dried leaves of casuarinas and bottlebrush seeds. Occasionally, I’d be taken for a longer walk, together with a group of patients, to the Woolworths at the end of this park, where we could buy soap, shampoo, or magazines; the butcher next door was named ‘No-Mis-Steak’, its backlit sign printed in Comic Sans.

The place was beautiful, in its own way, quiet and languorous and filled with bird song, but I missed the press of buildings near my home, the way they cram up close together, overspilling with wetter, fatter foliage – ivy, gardenias, frangipani, magnolia. I missed the press of people, of cyclists, of dogs tangled up outside op shops, clothes shops and cafes. Without them, in this wider, flatter landscape, I felt more soluble, less certain of my material presence, unreflected and alone.

 

But the strange thing is that this kind of landscape wasn’t new to me; I grew up in south-west Sydney, nestled in amongst precisely this sort of spaciousness and high-fenced privacy, these undemonstrative but honourable lives. It wasn’t that unusual to me, and it is absolutely usual for so much of Sydney’s ever-growing population. I realised this during another brief leave of absence from the hospital – the doctors liked to grant us the occasional evening off, to attend functions or social events, to practice staying safe and sane in our wider, more everyday lives.

I caught the train to Central, past Westmead, Parramatta, Granville, Lidcombe, Clyde. It was just after 5 pm, and the train pulled up each time at stations dotted with people in business suits and backpacks, or polo-shirted uniforms, reading from their mobile phones or tucking high-vis vests into the back pockets of their jeans. At Granville, a towering Islander man sat down beside me, taking up the rest of the three-seat berth, and offered me a handful of his hot chips. Two women in gloriously-coloured print dresses and headwraps held hands and murmured quietly in front.

These weren’t the people I was used to seeing at home – gentrification and de-diversification, after all, go hand-in-hand, and the sprawling suburbs of Sydney’s West are home to almost the same number of people as the rest of the city combined, and more than a third of these people were born overseas, in any one of over a hundred different countries.

I walked through the back streets of Chippendale to a friend’s house, a purple-painted terrace, past two small art galleries, five small bars, dodging the tumble of wheelie bins taking up most of the footpath for collection the next day. This is my home, I thought, but it is not my city.

 

On the day I left the hospital I left early, so that I could arrive in Annandale, where my boyfriend lives, in time for breakfast.

I ordered coffee, real coffee, sweet-bitter and smooth, the milk swirled into the shape of a heart, the cup a deep, mineral grey. Toasted sourdough, bread that was chewy and seedy, not wet and white. I held my handbag on my lap, because it still felt so novel, so pleasurable to be carrying it around. (Coffee I had known I’d miss; carrying a handbag, far less so.) I drove to Glebe to buy some groceries and bumped into a friend, another writer, walked with her to a park so we could catch up, sitting against the buttressed roots of a fig tree and sipping on take-away tea. I did a load of my own washing, watered the pots of cherry tomatoes growing in my small backyard. I walked along King St, just to feel it on my skin.

I’d missed my home, the habits I have that shape it and are shaped by it, the small pleasures it gives me across the day. And I had missed it all the more because I had been living in that other city, the other part of our city, the shadow-city that makes our own possible and feasible, especially because we rarely see it.

 

Fiona Wright stands inside the gate of her Newtown home in a colourful, full-length dress.

The author outside her home in Newtown.

Fiona Wright’s new book of poetry is called Domestic Interior, Giramondo Press, 96pp, $24.00. It follows her award-winning collection of essays from last year, Small Acts of Disappearance.

The cover of Fiona Wright's "Domestic Interior". The cover is a painting of two dogs, one lying on a rug, the other asleep on a chair.

Fiona Wright’s new book of poetry.

Waiting for the Man Louis Theroux and heroin addiction in America

Is there any hope? After watching Louis Theroux’s latest documentary, Dark States: Heroin Town, I feel the answer may be ‘no’. As a viewer that seems like a heavy load to carry.

But when I tell Theroux about the sadness that stabbed me in the chest after watching the program, it is hard not to sense his ambivalence. Despite the geeky spectacles and oddball intellectual charm, there’s a steely calmness to him, a sense of watching our own interview unfold that is hardly surprising in someone who is easily one of the most artful and pressing interviewers I’ve ever witnessed at work.

In his latest documentary, Theroux focuses on the town of Huntington, West Virginia, a town that was “once home to factories and steel mills and is now a hub for heroin use”. By close analysis and devastating character study, he moves through the town to weave a complex structural vision of the pathways between over-prescribed “pain pills” for workers and “the most deadly drug epidemic in US history”.

In a town of 48,000 people there are over 11,000 overdoses a year. Even given repeated and non-fatal error, this is quite some lifestyle statistic to swallow. These are not just your typical junkies; this is the aftermath of industrial and social collapse on a devastating scale, with Theroux a proverbial Virgil guiding us through the American inferno.

“You’re obviously a very sensitive bloke,” Theroux says of my reaction. “Perhaps that sadness is the right thing to feel. I mean what do you do with that? I don’t really know. There is a feeling of hopelessness that goes with it all, but I think there is more than that. Maybe this will sound weird, but there is a kind of dignity and grace with the lives of many of these people. Alongside the dependency and chaos, there is this intelligence and sensitivity. Part of what is driving me – and driving them – is the urge to connect. And that urge to connect is the first impulse to do the show.”

From Theroux’s perspective there’s a “redemptive quality” to this, however tenuous it might seem. A quality he feels lies at the core of what he tries to develop ethically. “The people who engage in the process of making a documentary are the ones who are reaching out. They endow their own lives with a dignity.”

A little more pragmatically, he observes that the interview process also allowed his subjects in Heroin Town “to also change their routine, and give their own lives some perspective. They usually have some special quality, some yearning, that makes their story more than sad, and something more enriching, more life affirming. There is a sort of… energy.”

 

He agrees his work has gotten darker, though he says it is no darker than it was five years ago. “Darker maybe than it was ten years ago let’s say.” Theroux thinks this heavier intensity may have “something to do with the aging process” for him. At some point in his career, he says, he also realised he didn’t just want to be “this funny guy who tells wacky stories about weird people.”

“I decided I didn’t need to be funny. It was more important to be interesting.”

He laughs quietly. “The human condition is so wonderful and terrifying. We have this capacity to sabotage our own lives. And yet also sometimes heal one another, even in the darkest places. Find one another, reach out. Even in the most hopeless situation you find hope. There are paradoxes running through all these situations. When you are in the darkest of places that little bit of light is dazzling.”

 

Dark States: Heroin Town is screening in participating Australian cinemas through Sharmill Films, from Friday 17 November. Details here.

I’m Addicted to Antique Porn An old, dirty habit

I have a secret passion: I’m addicted to antique porn. No, not the sort of blue material featuring the exposed ankles of Victorian-era scullerymaids: rather, all those shows like Antique Roadshow and Pawn Stars that feature the treasures of yesteryear.

And I blame my wife for making me pick up the habit.

It started when she dragged me away from writing semi-ironic captions for cat videos to come watch 19th century ceremonial Afghan daggers on TV. The blandishments of the pseudo upper-class “antique pimp” intrigued me. Despite my initial hesitations, I was interested. Perhaps on some level there was shame involved.

I vowed not to look again… or at least for a few weeks.

But soon enough, I was watching some old Etonian deviate spruik 18th-century Korean chests. “Phwoar, you don’t get too many of those to the pound… or Australian dollar!” I thought to myself.

Tea caddies were next. It’s amazing just how many people have these things hidden in their homes like old copies of Playboy. Tea caddies are almost like a gateway drug into the world of antiquing. You start with the caddies, and before you know it, you’re buying thousand-pound Ormolu clocks.

But even that doesn’t satisfy you. You stop playing Grand Theft Auto V to look at Louis XIV chairs. “Just look at the legs on those,” you think to yourself. “They just go on and on.”

By the time you realise you’re addicted it’s too late. The antiquing monkey is on your back. You promised yourself when you started that you’d just look at the high-end material. But now even the humblest of tat – Elvis memorabilia, Smurf figurines, Bakelite jewellery – have you running scenarios in your head. Where did these objects come from? What is their history? Are their owners “treating them right”?

You’re afraid to admit these thoughts to others. Particularly your work colleagues. They’d never understand. Maybe they’d even “judge” you.

The newsagent doesn’t say a word when you pick up your copy of Antiques Monthly. He knows your ‘thing’. He knows how antique porn has saturated our culture. It’s almost tempting to buy a copy of Huge Jugs in a brown-paper bag to throw him off the scent (which is actually full of pictures of oversized Ming vases).

Soon you become bolder. You scour the net for tickets for the Antiques Roadshow stage show. You find dates for auctions in your local area. “Maybe I’ll just pop over if I happen to be close by,” you tell yourself, already making plans to “just happen” to be in the area.

But you’re not a full-blown addict yet. Right now you’re just content to watch, not buy. It’s those other people that have the problem.

But you have to wonder if it’s only a matter of time before you have your own room entirely dedicated to Batman memorabilia, a garage full of penny-farthings and a pantry full of Victorian kitchenalia.

@GigTripper Marriage Equality

“This is The Lansdowne Hotel. They believe that ‘Love is Love’ – be like The Lansdowne Hotel and don’t forget to post your Marriage Equality survey by October 27th. Vote YES for Equality.”

@annaketura Marriage Equality

“I am an amateur street photographer from Brisbane and recently I started taking portraits of same-sex couples in the lead up to the marriage equality postal survey. However small an act, it at least made me feel like I was doing something positive to counter some of the hurtful misinformation I was seeing introduced into the debate.

“A few weeks ago I came across an article in the Guardian‘s Australian edition about two Brisbane fathers who hosted an equality barbecue for their whole neighbourhood. A short but heartwarming video of the barbecue showed Brad and Scott kindly and bravely speak to their neighbours about how the marriage equality debate has affected their children, family and the wider community.

“The fathers read out a letter to their guests that had been sent to them on a paper bag and signed “from two friendly neighbourhood gay kids”. The kids wanted to thank Brad and Scott for the strong outward display of support for marriage equality in their neighbourhood specifically referencing Brad and Scott’s Brisbane home which is festooned with bright and colourful pro-equality messages.

“I was so touched by this video that I decided to try to get in touch with Brad and Scott in the hope to take their photo. In the end fate intervened. Walking through the city a few weeks ago, I saw a striking couple embrace before walking out of a store. It turns out that Brad and Scott had just been to pick up their weddings rings when I introduced myself. While taking their picture, they filled me in on how events have unfolded since their barbecue and the subsequent media coverage. Ben and Katie – who had originally signed the letter anonymously as the “two friendly neighbourhood gay kids” – along with their families were prompted to get in touch with Brad and Scott after seeing the video and have since struck up a friendship.

“On Saturday Oct 21st we had what will hopefully be the last marriage equality rally across Australia. In a very wet Brisbane I had the opportunity to meet up again with Brad and Scott as we stood in the rain for equality. As we huddled under Scott’s big umbrella, a message arrived from Ben, Katie and their families looking to meet up with Brad and Scott. It is stories like this that fill me with hope that people all over Australia are coming together to understand and support each other. Love wins!”

@n2o_jo Marriage Equality

@necroxeno Marriage Equality

“I took this picture in the second Adelaide’s LGBT rally.I don’t know if these 2 ladies are friends or in a romantic relationship but their love for each other is beautiful and undeniable.”

@Vignia_Gonzalez_Ortega Marriage Equality

“Love and let love.”

@beyondthetwo Marriage Equality

“Fellow YES campaigner Tanya Plibersek looking stunning in the Post Yes tee by Beyond the Two – a new label for the fashion forward, the activist thinkers, the politically conscious, the out and proud, the loud allies, and the wonderfully colourful souls that deserve some damn good designs to celebrate who they are. Be you, be proud. beyondthetwo.com”

MM Marriage Equality

RAINBOW GOD

I saw a rainbow
over Oxford Street
the year we took a vote
about love as a right,
about the shape
of one’s betrothed.
I must be sentimental
cause tears get
in my eyes:
how do we rule
over feelings,
how can a truth
be given here
and there denied?
I saw the rainbow,
I saw the radiant cloud,
my imperfect skin
was pale.
Dumb questions:
why do we hurt
each other?
Kindness
is the only God
in town.

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